Turning three is a milestone for every child. Three marks the end of the toddler era, and as the round cheeks and belly thin out and toddling turns to walking, to running, to climbing, parents watch their baby turn into an independent preschooler.

For children with special needs, three is an extra-significant birthday, because it marks a change in the way a child receives services and ushers in an era of venturing out into the world of school.

From birth until three, children with special needs receive services, like speech therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy, in their homes through Early Intervention agencies. Often, parents become attached to the therapists and are apprehensive about the transition from home-based to school-based services.

The first step in this transition process is the student evaluation and IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting. After school professionals meet with and evaluate the child, they write a plan for the services they believe the child needs. Then the whole team meets with the parents to discuss the plan. As a first introduction to the school system, the IEP meeting can be stressful for parents who are not sure what to expect.

Here are some tips for having a successful, less stressful first IEP meeting:

1. Be prepared. Ask questions before you go so you are aware of what options your town offers. Most towns have integrated preschool programs, where a child with special needs receives speech and other therapies in the context of a preschool curriculum. But towns differ widely in how the programs are structured. Knowing what your options are before the meeting will help you be prepared to make decisions.

2. Bring Support. You can have whomever you want in the meeting with you. Typically, Early Intervention therapists who work with your child will attend the meeting to add input to the plan. 

3. Advocate for your child. Remember, the team who evaluates and plans for your child do not know him or her like you do. If you feel the services being offered are not what you want for your child, speak up. It is appropriate for you to provide input, and the school staff will want to hear your opinion.

4. Relax. Even though you are entering unfamiliar territory, trust that the special needs school professionals have your child’s best interest at heart. In time, you will get to know them and feel you are teammates working to help your child reach his or her full potential.

Barbara Didona has three young daughters and works as a training consultant for Moore Center Services, based in Manchester, NH, that works to empower and support individuals with developmental disabilities and acquired brain disorders.